Mom thinking of abandoning children or is this hint of suicide/wanting help?

I am a 19 year old college student and living a state away from my immediate family of two brothers(9 and 14), my mother(37), and step-father(47). My 14 year old brother called me up today with anxiety and stress in his voice, asking, "Has mom talked to you about moving out of state?" To which I replied, "No, why?". He responds, coming close to tears near the end of his statement, "Because when she picked me up from school today she looked at me serious and asked me how I would feel if she moved out of state and left us with T(step dad). And I asked why couldnt she take me? And she wouldn't answer, she just kept asking how I would feel if she up and left, moved out of the state and went away. Is she going to leave me? Where will I go? I can't stay with our step-dad..." Which is true, my little brother of 14 wouldn't be able to stay with the step dad, which is not the point of my question. Later that day my mom left to pick up our 9 year old brother from school, and my 14 year old brother said that when they got home, the 9 year old went to the 14 year old and said our mother had asked him the same exact questions. My first thoughts are suicide, and here is why I think this: Suicide runs in our family, as well as clinical depression. My mother's own father shot himself in the head (which she saw the aftermath of at 16 years old). My mother has a auto immune disease that causes many problems such as weight gain (my mother isn't over weight, she fights it), hair loss (you can imagine how depressing hair loss is, especially for a woman just shy of 40), change in attitude, depression, etc. And how bad this disease is, I feel she doesn't fully share. All I know is she claims her body aches, a lot. Our step father is a complete tyrant. Control freak. Hard to deal with. Your classic LAPD who brings the job home with him. They've fought and had conflict for 10 years now. And the final reasons I think this is more a cry for help, and not her even thinking of moving away, is because I know our mother loves us dearly. She would die, before live without us. I am off to college, so it's different. But she has two little ones that depend on her. My mother also has no college degree, very little work experience, and NO high school diploma. I know my mom has no means of living on her own, especially just up and moving to some other state. She couldn't get a job, I'm sure, if she tried. Not that easily anyways. I'd appreciate any advice. I just don't know how to bring it up to my mother, wether this is something to worry about or just relax.

Tell her face to face what you feel.

If I were you I would call an ambulance to the house immediately, they can take your mother to an Emergency Department, they can do an emergency mental health hold on her and keep her there while they assess her for suicide risk and get her some help. Don't be afraid to do this, you might be embarassed if it turns out to be an over reaction, but what if it is not. Given the family history and the suddeness of this, it seems like you are onto something important.

You're not really going to be able to relax about this, no matter what people from the internet tell you. You need to see and talk to her. Could she come to your college to stay with you for a while? Away from any stress at home and to look after herself rather than have everybody else's worries on her shoulders as well as her own. Let her see that there are other options and better things to do than commit suicide. She may not even be thinking of suicide, so maybe don't mention it to her unless you know for absolute certain that it is going through her mind, but there's no harm in inviting her to your place and having a lovely time and talking.

Since you're older, she will take you seriously and talk to you like an adult. Go home, visit your mother and talk to her. Tell her your brother called you concerned and tell her what your brother told you. This isn't something to take lightly. Good luck.

hi my name is Brenda. Your concerns are indeed valid. If I was you I would be arranging a family medical leave from school and I would be at her side ASAP. My mother committed suicide when I was 15. Im 49 years old now. Suicide runs in my family too. Several months before my mom died, I remember she had become a very different person then the mom I Knew. But I did not have a clue as to what was going on with her.Back then people had nervous breakdowns and antidepressants were not yet on the market. You need to take this situation very seriously. If you would have known my mom you would think she would be the last person on earth to commit suicide.But she did. Listen to your heart because its telling you something is not right. Go stay with her for awhile. What is a month or 2 from college worth versus your mothers life? Depression is serious and your mother is not thinking right. I urge you to take action now and get involved with getting her to a doctor now.

i agree with lolly and brenda. this is very serious and being depressed shes not herself and you need to take measures for her. call an ambulance like she said and get her the help she can't get for herself. best of luck!

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